Thursday, November 4, 2010

thankfulness despite...

Well, it has really been a bad day!  Woke up really late because we were exhausted after Compelled last night (Thursday is our new Monday!) Got school started on the wrong foot because we were running late; had to get my own homework done and in to Richard for our skype time tomorrow, so I was grumpy that anyone needed me or my help; I had to go to Sam's with a friend to get stuff for Compelled at 1 and we were still not done with school; by the time I got home I felt under pressure to make the pierogies that I had promised Shawn for his birthday, but apparently my stress was getting the best of me, because Shawn said to forget it because he would rather have less stress, so we got Chinese food-ugh!  And on top of it all, it was gray, rainy, and cold!
I felt like I failed at everything I was supposed to do today.  I am committed to teaching my children in a healthy, good environment for them, and that did not happen.  I want to make my family healthy, delicious meals and not feed them processed, gross stuff - and that did not happen.  I have a very strict food budget- and I blew part of that today on the gross, processed food.  And then because Shawn had to teach his Bible Class at RPI this evening, I felt like the whole day was rushed and yucky - and I felt responsible.
Not exactly the birthday - or any day- that I wanted for Shawn and my kids!
So what am I thankful for today?  My homework in this class; a wonderfully wise man named Josiah whom I have never met, but have learned much from as I listen to his CD's; The fact that even when I am an absolute mess up and nothing goes the way I want or plan God loves me perfectly and completely.  The fact that my husband is my best friend, and really doesn't overly romanticize birthdays anyway!  ;)
I guess I am learning what real love is through all of it.  And for that, I am thankful!

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