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I'm Believing God

Have you read the book "Believing God" by Beth Moore?  I read it a few years ago, and came across it again recently, hidden among all the books in Shawn's office.  (We have no room at the house, so all the books go there!)  I have not started it again - mostly because after I brought it home, I lost it again!  But I have been thinking about the core of the book.  It is based on this statement:
"God is Who He says He is. God can do what He says He can do. I am who God says I am. I can do all things through Christ. His Word is alive and active in me.  I'm believing God."
That is more than a peppy little mantra, or encouraging saying to get me going on those off days!  It is true!  But do I live that way? 
God is who He says he is...really?  If I really believed that - that He is the Author of Creation, the Glory and the Lifter of my head, my Refuge, my Rock, the Light to my path, my adoptive Father who chose me, my Savior (among all the other extraordinary things) then why do I live as if he is not to be trusted?  Why do I doubt and fear and worry?  Why the anxiety as I wonder if he will "let me down" again?  He created me!  Not only that - he created absolutely everything around me!  He planned my life from before there was time, and he has the best in store for me.  Why do I always demand He prove this?
God can do what He says He can do...again, why is there so much mistrust in my life if I believe this? He can make water from wine, create the universe from nothing, raise dead people, and make lame men walk.  So, of course it stands to reason that he can't take care of me and my life, right?
I am who God says I am...We have been doing this study pretty consistently for the time we have been at Troy.  Who am I?  If I am really a daughter of the King - chosen and dearly loved by Him - why do I live as if I am an orphan, abandoned and forced to care for my self?
I can do all things through Christ..."through Christ" would be the key words here.  Sometimes I forget that part and think that I can actually do all things "through Heather."  Silly me.  Discipline is a wonderful thing, but eventually, no matter how hard I try, I fail without Him.  I'm just so stinking stubborn that it takes that continual failing to remind me of the last part of that statement!  And He is so loving that I can turn immediately and run back to his arms - because I am who He says I am - remember?
God's word is alive and active in me...wow!  I mean - WOW!   Sometimes I forget his word is alive and active at all - but especially in me, in my life!  The promises He makes, the gifts He proclaims, the love songs He offers - they are mine!  The weapons He has, the inheritance He gives - all mine!  The warnings and the rebuffs - mine too - all because He loves me.  The Holy Spirit inside of me is alive and working. 
I'm believing God...well, we've covered that.  Am I really?
"Lord, thank you that all it takes is a mustard seed of faith, because that seems to be all I can offer most of the time. I am believing you. I love you.  I surrender, and I am yours."

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