Well, we are moved in and settled. And no, I am not super woman - I just need to have some control over something in my life, and the house setting seems to be the only thing that I can even partially do that with! ;) I am glad that it is over with and we can relax and enjoy this amazing, new place!
As I was ironing curtains to put them up (it's about the only time my iron gets much use) I was thinking about something that made me giggle. I recently had an experience with my birth father that reminded me of some hurtful things. No one likes to feel rejected, yet time and time again in my life that had been the feeling I have gotten from him. And not for any particular reason that I can see - just simply because I am me. That's the worst rejection, I think. Who wants to be told, "It's not me, it's you!" ? :) (And I should clarify that my grandmother and all the extended family on that side has been a wonderful part of my life! I love you guys!)
As I was struggling through this feeling and wanting to beat myself up because I am 36 years old and "should be" use to this and not be hurt by it anymore I even thought - "And I have a dad who has loved me since he met me - even though I am not really his biologically!"
My step father (whom I call Dad) IS my Dad. He has raised me, cared for me, provided for me both financially and emotionally, and loved me. He is who my children call Grandpa- Andrew is named after him! When Shawn asked his permission to marry me he said, "I like you, but I love my daughter. If you hurt her, I will kill you!" (Shawn knew he respected my dad at that point!) ;) In every way that matters he is my dad. There were people who asked if we would still see him after my mom died, and that was such an incredulous question to me! Why would I NOT see my dad? We need each other now more than ever. The truth of the matter is, I talk to him more now than when Mom was an easy go-between! And he even entered the world of texting and cell phones!
In this way Dad (and his family, who took us in so readily) showed me God's love. Yep - my Dad, who has time and time again told me that he thinks I am insane for my beliefs-brought me closer to God. I am adopted into God's family, too. Though Dad did not officially adopt me and give me his last name, he loves me as if I were his own flesh and blood. The same way God loves me. I have all the rights of a blood daughter in Dad's home - I can call whenever I want, visit anytime, sleep there, ask for things, be there to help, and be helped by him. I can expect to be loved and joyfully received no matter how long it has been since I have been there, and I count on that! When I send pics of the kids, they are proudly shown around, and drawings and letters displayed! It is the same way with my heavenly Father. He is proud of me! He loves me and I can imagine him showing me off with snapshots of my life. He sings over me with joy and he welcomes me back into the family when I am gone for any length of time. He, like my dad here on earth, simply loves and accepts me BECAUSE I'm me - not despite of me! What joy! What delight! What freedom!
In this I have leaned to love and be loved by my heavenly Father's family all over the world. When we have been away from family in ministry, we have been loved by others who have been family to us. All of this was taught to me to some degree by my dad and his family.
So I am feeling thankful and sentimental today. Since I know there is no way my dad will read this, I should let him know personally. Thanks, Dad, for being an example of God to me!
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