They have been around and heard people talking about the end of the world - at church, with friends, etc. So I asked them, "If Jesus were to come back today, how does that make you feel?" I got a couple of nervous smirks and a giggly "I don't know." So I encouraged them to be honest because there can be no wrong answers when you ask someone how they feel about something. Eventually we got around to talking about being nervous because we don't really know what heaven will be like. We had some fun discussions on that one: No, we will NOT turn into angels, they are created beings and we have the ability to choose to love and serve God where as they don't; We will be "caught up together with them in the clouds" (1 Thessalonians 4:17, NIV) so I don't think that means we just dissipate into thin air ("That would hurt, Mom"); I hope there will be animals in heaven, but I don't think it will be these animals - they don't have a soul or the ability to choose Jesus; Maybe a log cabin is a possibility instead of a mansion???; I have no idea at all what will happen as far as ages and bodies are concerned in heaven, so I have no idea about how the babies that I lost look or live there; There are MANY more unknowns than knowns about all this; Through all the scary unknown, we still know and trust that God has the absolute best for us!!!
I was thinking this morning as I sat in my new house and relished the birds singing, the bright, cheerful colors, and just the house in general (have I mentioned how much I LOVE my new house?) that we really have no clue what is best for us or even what we really want! I liked the house I lived in prior to this. I know it was small (ok, minuscule) but we made it work! And we even had friends and family stay and were able to have fun and keep things relaxed and mostly stress-free. It was not ideal but I didn't think too much about it, because I assumed with what rent costs and the haziness of our future here, that as long as we lived in this area we would live there. So I made it home. And it was a nice home. (I may fight change sometimes, but when I accept it I have an alarming ability to roll with it!)
In fact, when we talked about moving here, I was a little sad about leaving our neighbors and the pretty green living room and the big counter top in the kitchen where I rolled out so many cookies and pizza doughs! But each day here I am so thankful for the space, the brightness, the backyard, the neighbors, the neighborhood and area to walk, the chance to garden, the basement, the comfy family room...well, you get the point. I didn't know that there could be something better for me and I almost fought the chance to have the thing that was given.
Obviously heaven is better than Schenectady! (hahahaha! People around here call Schenectady "Skanktady" and Troy "Troilet" though I think those are undeserved names!) But I realize that as I was nervous about the unknown and not really wanting Jesus to come back, that I was also fighting the thing that will be the best, most amazing thing I could ever have or experience. Not that I could stop it anyway - like most things in this life. But I have decided to start the paradox of living in each day to it's fullness and being content, but experiencing the excitement of looking at what is to come by falling more and more in love with him and learning to trust him better.