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Acting like an orphan

"A believer is living as an 'orphan' when he or she has in some way or other lost touch with the grace of God. In isolation from the promises, the orphan has developed a small view of Christ and a small view of the gospel. In contrast, a believer is living as a son or daughter when he or she is walking in faith, and living according to God’s promises. Sons and daughters have a large Christ and a large gospel." The Sonship Course, WHM

 We have been traveling a lot again recently - different beds every night. This usually means that I leave behind stuff, or discover that I have forgotten something. (The most recent thing I forgot was our prayer cards - kind of an important thing when you are raising support!) sigh...

 As I got in the van yesterday I was on the verge of tears. "I forgot my shampoo and conditioner, so I will have to buy yet another bottle! I'm tired of this! I'm ready to give up!" Haha - even as I write that, I realize how childish it sounds - I'm not usually a woman who is undone by shampoo! Shawn looked at me and said, (as he has several times recently - I'm a slow learner, or a very stubborn person)- "This is not about shampoo or raising support or traveling or even our feelings. This is about learning to remember who we are in Christ. That He is for us. That he loves us. When we choose to believe the lies and live like orphans, we are choosing to sin. We know better. It's time to grow up." sigh (again)...

 One of the things that we are so thankful for about the fact that God brought us to World Harvest Mission is the Sonship course. We have learned and continue to learn so much from this course. As we have spent the last 3 years trying to regurgitate what we have learned to the churches we were ministering to, I think sometimes they thought we were insane. But even if nothing ever came from our meeting up with WHM other than this course, it would be worth it. I have realized and understood that I live my life as an orphan so often, that sometimes it seems like the norm to me. But the problem with that is that God is NOT a small God. And his gospel is NOT a small gospel! It is the life and truth and hope and purpose and breath of who we are! It is saving and life-giving and life-changing. And He, oh he is complete, whole, holy, just, loving, living, pure, perfect, and so beyond my comprehension.

 And I know these things in my head - but my heart is so fickel and my feelings are so wavering. However, Shawn is right. It is time to grow up.

 It's time to take these ideals and ideas and make them real. Believe them. Live as though I believe them. Surrender. Hope. Trust. Accept. Even when I don't feel like it or can't see it. This morning as we wake up in house number 3 in the last 3 days (and we are thankful, we really are!) and prepare to go to church number 3,605,204,917 that we don't know, and meet people when I feel out of steam and out of sorts, I will trust. Trust that we are here for a reason and purpose. Trust that God is for me and he loves me as well as the people of this church. That he has a plan for each of us and somehow those plans connect today. That he is a much bigger God with an infinitely bigger grace than I give him credit for. And I will soak in his word, his love, his presence so I am not isolated from the truth of Him.

 Thank you, Dad.

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