Sunday, February 24, 2019

Be Still

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him…”

As I sit here right now, I feel like every nerve is my body is on edge.  Anxiety is creeping in.  I just text a friend to say that anxiety was winning today.  I am reading these verses over and over again, yet all around me is NOISE!
There is construction happening on three sides of us.  Construction in Africa means constant pounding all day long.  The guard is listening to music on his radio where he is sitting, which is right below my bedroom window.  Our kitchen sink is plugged so there are two plumbers talking and pounding away in the that room.  Cars are driving by – mufflers loud and spilling out noise, people are  walking by and chattering in one of their many languages that make no sense to me.  There’s an ibis outside making his loud and annoying sound over and over again.  The area out back of the flat, which is a slum area, is hopping with people hawking things, music blaring, dogs barking incessantly, and children laughing and crying.
If you were to ask me at a different time, I would tell you these are the sounds of my life – the sounds of the city in Kenya. I would take comfort in many of them, knowing it was normal life happening around me.
But today…
Today I want to yell at the whole world to just shut up for a few minutes.
When we were at pre-field training for the mission field, we did this exercise that happened every few days where the leaders would tell us we had 15 minutes to go hear Jesus.  It was supposed to train us to quiet our minds, calm our hearts, and be in his presence whenever we had the chance – even for 15 minutes in the middle of a busy day.
If this was a graded activity, I would have failed miserably.
Our two youngest boys have ADHD, and there’s no doubt where they get that from!  To have noise around me, questions swirling in my heart, and a math lesson that is stumping me makes it almost impossible for me to stop where my heart and mind are and hear Him.
But He knows that.
And suddenly he meets me.  He breaks through the noise, the anxiety, the chaos around.  Suddenly my heart is pulled in the direction of peace and stillness, if only for a moment or two.  The voice of my Father sings over me, and I sigh in relief as I gulp in fresh air – like new life filling dead bones.  The noise starts to dissipate into a familiar comfort again as the Spirit envelops me in his love.
I know I am His.  I couldn’t find him myself.  I couldn’t quiet the world around me.  But Abba knew my need, my heart,  and inclined his ear toward me and covered me under his wings.  I am so grateful.

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